Yesterday I spoke about discerning God’s voice that was by all accounts beneficial. Today I want to talk about discerning God’s voice when it doesn’t seem beneficial, in the moment.
Take yesterday for example. Shortly after finishing the blog post, I felt an uneasiness in my spirit of abandonment from God. Instead of pushing it aside like normal, I asked “What are you trying to tell me in this moment?”
Maybe for the first time in my life, it was so crystal clear, not audible, but clear. He wants me to feel the same way that Jesus felt when He felt separated from the Father at the Cross.
Now why would God want that? Let’s take a look at what became an anchor verse when I was in the hospital last spring after the suicide attempt.
1 Peter 4:12-13 says, 12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
What I have loved about this verse is it says “when the trial” comes, not if. You see one of the ways of being healed is through brokenness, so that God can heal in no ways that humans can understand.
It is on the other side of the pain where the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, etc) can be felt.
So with that I say, bring on my Gethsemane moment dear Lord. I joyfully accept. After all, it is really no longer that I that live, but Christ that lives within me.