Tomorrow is the start of the transformation process I have waited for so long. I will start the process of letting go of my fear of death.
I first learned about death when I was three years old. I can remember specifically being in my best friend’s kitchen and my parents had just got back from a funeral for a relative. I remember asking my parents, “Am I going to die one day?” Very innocently, they told me that I would. From that moment, I have been separated from true self.
I remember crying my eyes out at night as a young kid and feeling completely helpless and powerless. You see it’s that part of me that lives inside me still. Sometimes I feel like I am 26 year old trapped in the body of a 3 year old. After a year or so, of teaching myself self love, the little boy is ready to let go of the fear of death.
It’s hard to explain how the fear of death manifests in my life. But I can remember being 7 years old and having thoughts like, “I’m one-tenth of the way through my life”. I know I can’t control death, but there was a part of me that thought that I could…….and everything else. I thought I could control my bank account, my relationships and almost every aspect of my life.
Going through the suffering I have been through I have learned that I am not in control. It is God who is in control. The only control I have is I have the free will to follow His plan for my life. And I am more than ready. It’s harvest time.
Prayer: Heavenly Father I pray that you are even closer with me during the coming days. I know I will be looking my demon square in the eye and then letting it go. Lord, I need you more than ever in my life right now. I trust you have prepared me for this moment as my life begins the transformation. I pray in the name of Jesus that even I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. In Jesus name. Amen.